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I put my hand on her head and I said its going to be okay, stroking her head in a soothing voice.“Are you going back to your room?” she asked her eyes pleading.“if you don’t want me to, I won’t” I said.She made space for me to sit beside her.She was staring at ceiling deep in though while I looked at her beautiful face.“When will dad be coming back?”“In a week I guess.”“Do you think I can walk by then?”“I think so, if you rest well and don’t go on adventures.”“I don’t want to be stuck to this bed when he comes.”“you will, now stop worrying and sleep.”Over the next 2 days I caught her trying to move on her own to the bathroom, Dad and mom were supposed to come today and Claire was anxious she put on a baggy shirt so that Robert wouldn’t notice her wound.Claire was kepping to her room avoiding any interaction with Martha or Robert.“Claire what’s that blood on your shirt?” I heard my step dad shouting in her room.“Nothing...” Claire said.Robert was going through the doctor report that. No more fantasizing of pianos and a home filled with love, safety, warmth, and family. All of these are merely dreams that can never be and if I hold onto them then I will never know peace. We will never be together and I know that, with every bit of my being, I know it but God, how do you let it all go? Something so strong and sure? How do you implore your heart of hearts to see reason and allow yourself to heal? How do you tell it to speak with your head and actually listen? To understand that this pain, this appalling heartache, could and will happen again if I continue to do this to myself. I know my dream is a warning of what will, undoubtedly, come to pass for me and that it is yet another attempt at my head trying to bombard me with rationalism. This fact is what holds me back and what keeps that impossible dream lingering. I understand that it is only my mind rehashing the trauma and fear in order to protect my body from further damage. Knowing this gives me hope that.
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